Do You Have Fear of does Fear Have You?

Do you have fear, or does fear have you?

Mark Twain, a very famous American writer,  once said...

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened." 

Wow! I've learned from this profound quote that most of us may have spent much time feeling afraid. We become fearful that something wrong will happen based on our negative imagination when in reality, it isn't happening. Right?

If we're not careful, FEAR can hold us back from a life we love living.

What, then, can we do to overcome our fear? 

Let me share a personal experience I had many years ago where I learned a few simple "tricks" to live with my fear.

I remember being terrified of the dark at night during my childhood days.

I'm not sure whether you’ve had similar experiences too.

I grew up watching scary movies and unconsciously developed this FEAR of the dark. Like many, I just love watching horror and scary movies, like The Exorcist, The Thing, and many of Alfred Hitchcock's horrifying television shows. However, I was always surrounded by family and friends when watching these scary movies. Then, when it's time for me to go to bed and I realize I'm alone in my room, the fears and nightmares generally start.

My imagination had a field day and just went wild! I would start imagining that something might be under my bed. I would feel very frightened, like in The Exorcist movie, that my bed was moving and shaking violently. Or in the movie, The Thing, the creature suddenly pops out from the block of ice, and I become paranoid about where The Thing may be in my room. Or in Alfred Hitchcock’s show, The Birds, humans are imprisoned in a house and viciously attacked by birds, and I worried and feared whether I would be attacked by birds while sleeping. 

I was afraid and embarrassed to express my fear to anyone. This fear of the dark feeling would persist for days after watching such horror shows, and it wasn't a cheerful or fun way to have a peaceful and good night's sleep.

My fear soon became so evident that my parents began to notice it.

Like all loving parents, they were concerned and asked me why I was so fearful of the dark. I was afraid to tell them as I wanted my parents to see me as a “Macho” kid! But I soon gave in and recounted my fear of the dark to them. 

My parents comforted me, and I can still remember, in essence, what they told me, which startled my senses. They said:

"George, don't be scared by these horrible and terrifying movies. It's only a movie! Why not watch some comedy shows to override your fearful thoughts? It may help you to overcome your fear of the dark, and you can have a good night's sleep."

Wow! Why didn't I think of that? Even though I was still terrified, what they said made sense. I did what they suggested and started watching comedy shows on TV. . It wasn't easy initially, as the fearful feelings persisted. But I began working hard to build and practice a new way of thinking to help me conquer my fear of the dark.

I started sleeping better at night with the lights on and gradually with the lights turned off. I was no longer terrified of the dark as I had been. I no longer let my frightened ideas run wild in my head.

Eventually, I began to experience more quiet and restful sleep.

Through this whole experience, I realized a very important thing:

There’s a BIG difference between fear having me and me having fear.